“she had to endure and love, and that she did”

I’ve been struggling with the concept of justice and its seemingly flaky appearance in our world. I’ve been dealing with this struggle at work and I’ve been there for over a year now: nothing seems to go the way it’s supposed to—not just for me, but in general. I can’t stand it and I can’t do anything about it. It bears such an incredible weight on my shoulders and I’ve been having a hard time putting it into words.

I sat on the couch on Thursday night, desperately trying to come up with an eloquent way of explaining my experience but I couldn’t. I shared my grievances with my husband and before going to bed I began reading from the last page I had left off in War and Peace. After a few sentences it read:

“And what is justice? The princess thought of that proud word ‘justice’. All the complex laws of man centered for her in one clear and simple law—the law of love and self-sacrifice taught us by Him who lovingly suffered for mankind though He Himself was God. What had she to do with justice or injustice of other people? She had to endure and love, and that she did.”

I know this experience means more to me than anyone else, though I still find it worthy of sharing. I finally had the words that I had been looking for and they just fell into my lap at the most miraculous moment imaginable.

It is really that simple. I am to endure and love and that is what I will try my best to do. “the law of love and self-sacrifice taught us by Him who lovingly suffered for mankind though He Himself was God. What had she to do with justice or injustice of other people?” Nothing. I have nothing to do with it. He completely redefined the concept of justice and until the world is restored, justice will cease to truly exist.

“She had to endure and love, and that she did.”

On my way home from work the next day, Taylor Swift had some wise words for me: “Just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you could’ve been getting down to this sick beat.” I probably need to listen to her more often.

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